May 05 2008
Must I entertain my kids all the time?
Filed Under (Family Life, Kids' Behavior, Parenting) by admin
When I was growing up, my Mom and Dad were busy. My Dad worked full-time. And, while my Mom was a stay-at-home-mom for most of my young childhood, she did not spend the bulk of her time at home catering to my every whim. My sister and I had to entertain ourselves–and we did.
I remember going outside to play for hours at a time, sometimes coming back inside only for lunch. I remember playing by myself in my room (I often played school). My sister and I had an extensive Barbie collection, and we set up elaborate houses out of everyday materials and played for entire afternoons.
While we did all of this, my Mom was cleaning, cooking, doing laundry–whatever. She certainly wasn’t entertaining us. Of course, she did play board games every now and then, and we did have weekend afternoons when my Dad would join us all for some card games. But other than that, my sister and I had to entertain ourselves.
Why, then, do kids nowadays seem to think that parents are supposed to entertain them? And it isn’t just my kids–the kids my husband and I watch most days (two brothers and their sister) are the same way, as are other children who have come over for playdates.
Kids are bored. No matter how many toys and games they have available, they get bored. They expect Mom and Dad to constantly do stuff with them.
Why is this? When did kids start becoming like this? What changed to make kids expect parents to entertain all of the time? I certainly didn’t encourage this; neither did my husband. Yes, we do spend time with the kids and play board and video games with them at times; however, never did we do anything to give them the impression that they were to depend upon us for entertainment!
I read on another blog about a practice called hyper-parenting. Basically, this is when parents are so controlling over their kids’ lives that they micro-manage every aspect of their kids’ days, scheduling every hour. Ok, I can see where parents who do this would end up with kids who expect to be entertained–but, we are definitely not hyper-parenting. So, why us?
We are constantly telling our kids to “go play” or “go find something to do” or even giving more concrete suggestions like “go color” or “go play with the Magnetix.” But our kids are still always underfoot, just waiting for us to stop what we are doing so that we will play with them. It is enough to drive a person mad!
Anyone have any realistic suggestions? We’ve tried the “if you are bored, then go clean your room” technique, to no avail. I’m tired of tripping over the kids all the time–I want them to go have fun instead of waiting for me (and I’m tired of them rushing me to finish what I’m doing, frankly). *sigh* Any ideas out there? Or am I doomed until they become teens and they start ignoring me?
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Yeah, you are too nice to them, smack ‘em around a bit and maybe they’ll go outside. Or just not care about them and they’ll get the point. In other words, you guys are doing a great job, just be glad you have kids that like you, not the other way around. Keep up the good work.
My oldest is this way and I blame my hubby! He was always so worried about her feeling like a neglectarino that he played with her too much as a baby. I know, people are going to scream and say you can’t play too much with a baby. But really, she was never one to enjoy a playpen and kids need time by themselves on the floor exploring their own toys. They don’t need a parent in their face talking to them all the time… Next child and he played just fine by himself in a playpen. Of course, the older child spent time playing with him (thus freeing up some of my time so we could actually eat a hot meal or have clean clothes) and I was home with him full-time. He’s 3 and if I tell him to go play, he does. Maybe too many parents work too much these days and kids are just craving attention? Kids who are in school all day miss their parents and crave attention too.
I think that kids are spoiled these days with all of this technology…they have to have something to entertain them. My girls have always entertain themselves with music, they love country, pop, and even classic rock. great website !!!
Haha, I agree with Joe. Wait till they become teenagers. You’d wish they hang around more.
I also think the personality of the child makes a difference. Some kids are introverted and able to entertain themselves.Some are extroverted and need more social interaction. Adults are like that too, aren’t we?? Some of us can sit and read a book for hours while others need to be on the phone and interacting with people. It’d be nice if there’s a kid in the neighborhood who can come over to your house and play with your kids.
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Good point–I think personality does affect this issue.
And I know, I will miss all of this attention when they are teens, I’m sure…